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Safe Dating Practices: Choosing a Great Partner

Author: Dr.ArleneG.Krieger Total views: 3 Word Count: 775

On this rainy Sunday afternoon the thoughts of what makes for a great vs. a bad lover was on my mind. This important subject of, 'What makes your lover great' was discussed over coffee this morning with girlfriends.

It is also important to mention in this blog safe-sex practices for those in the dating and mating scene. 0ften people take sexual health risks without understanding the consequences of unsafe sex. If your intended lover is unknown for the most part, and you haven't discussed previous dating experience or healthy exams, please for your own safety, discuss these issues with your prospective lover or partner.

The makings of a Great Lover is somewhat of an intangible thing. However being an expert in the field of Human sexuality, I am often privy to numerous opinions on the subject whether in private practice or over cocktails at dinner with friends.

Yes guys, we women do talk about such things. Possibly a bit differently than males do, but we talk. A friend of mine put it like this, there are good lover, selfish lovers, bad and great, but most importantly, the best lover is the guy that makes you feel special. You know, the one that knows what you want and is willing to please his partner. Its not all about the guy.

Many women have opinions on what makes a Great Lover a Great Lover! So then, what are these women saying and what is the difference that makes the difference?

It appears that some men like to go on and on about their sexual prowess between the sheets. The Casanova likes drama and is only interested in the chase. Once he has aquired his object of affection, he will certainly be on to the next challenge. Many men think that women like Bad Boys, however this personal has gone out with wide collar shirts and platform shoes for men.

This Casanova brags of his sexual prowess on the first date. He moves too quickly and puts his hands in your personal space at first chance. There seems to be no respect for who the woman is as a person, she is only seen as an objectified object of his desires.

Note: Sexual Health Advisory

STDs Advisory:

Danger: STDs

Here's another reality check: sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are incredibly common in the U.S. -- even if your social circle is affluent and educated. The most common STDs are: Chlamydia, genital herpes, genital warts caused by human papillomavirus (HPV), and HIV/AIDS. To reduce risk, use a condom every time you have sex. Ask your partner if he or she has ever had an STD -- even if the question feels awkward. Limit your number of sexual partners. Don't have sex with someone who has sores on his or her genitals. Don't receive oral sex from somebody with a cold sore. Ask your partner to be tested. Try alternate forms of sexual intimacy.

Please beware of the lover that will insist on not utilizing safe-sex practices. If a new lover demands that he not use a condom because he "can't feel anything", I'm sorry to say that's his problem, not yours. Don't risk contracting STD's or other sexually contracted diseases with this man's power play.

A GOOD LOVER:

The 'Good Lover' shows a level of responsibility. He knows enough to provide his own safe-sex protection. This man is "grown up all the way", no adolescent games here. He knows what he wants and is willing to wait until you're at that point also. By not being too quick to jump the starting gate on the first date, this guy knows the basic rules of no man-handling in the first 24 hours of relationship! This GL is able to play fair both in and out of the sheets.

The Elusive Great Lover:

Wanted: GL unique creature: This man really does exist. The makings of a Great Lover depends on how healthy he is both mentally and physically himself. This man wants a partner who challenges and supports him towards being a more awake, present and open lover. This man is not into playing games and is ready for the work and play it takes to co-create an extaordinary relationship together. In order to be considerd a GL, the man must be looking for a woman who wants more than a partner "for masturbation by other", i.e. more than a one night stand. Mechanical sex is not what its cracked up to be. Its like sleepwalking through life, and eating the ice cream cone without the ice cream. The flow and co-creation of great sex belongs only to the one who finds a great lover.

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About the Author

www.askdrarlene.com, www.Bocatherapy.com

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